Saturday, May 31, 2014

de Poezenboot

So what happens when you go to Amsterdam and stumble upon a houseboat that has been repurposed as a cat shelter? You go in of course. 

What happens when every single one of the 15 or so cats wandering around is beyond adorable? You take too many photos of course. 

What happens when one of them takes a shine to you? Ideally you would adopt, but no, allergies exist in the family. Bummer. 

For those of you who do not have a 'poezenboot' near you, I present you with some photographs so that you may live vicariously through me. 

(all photos were taken with an iPhone, so apologies for the resolution....)

^ my general feelings about life right here. ^

Monday, May 12, 2014


It's amazing the things you can learn from a plant. This babe has taught me a lot recently. Given to me by a thoughtful mother, unbeknownst to her, on a bad day, it sits in my window drinking in sunshine and water. I've watched it grow limp when I forget to water it, its leaves curling in weary sleep. I've watched it raise its arms again in stiff motions towards the sunlight streaming through my window. I've watched the tiny buds emerge from underneath the already full flowers and take their place in the world. 

But most importantly, I've watched it die. The pink flowers curled and dried at the edges, petals folding inward. Leaves tinged yellow, falling down its tin can home. And I've cared for it, snapping dead limbs from its aching body. At one point, there was almost nothing left of the pink and yellow delicacies, only  green. But sure enough, as soon as all the brown, withered pieces were removed, tiny pink florets began to appear again, reminding me of fragile sugared rose buds I once made. 

 It taught me this: there are things in my life that need to be snapped off if I am to remain healthy. They run their course and then come to an end. They wither away and die, curling inward like the yellowing leaves. If I try to cling to these things, it will only make me frail and imprisoned. They will choke me and prevent me from blooming. I want to flourish and thrive, not just survive and exist. 

So tonight, before I go to bed, I'm going to give a round of applause to this beauty, framed against the moonlight in my window, for all the things it has taught me. And maybe, it'll be time to snap something - from her or me, I don't know yet. 

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Ten Things You Probably Don't Need To Know

This is something I'm planning to do once a week: tell you 10 things about me or my life or something distantly related to me. It's an easy kind of post for me to slide in my schedule with school work and everything.

1. I really need to go study for a science test... that is tomorrow.
2. This whole blog and everything in it was created while listening exclusively to Kyla la Grange and Alt-J (the latter of which I am still listening to).
3. Today, in creative writing club, we played a ridiculously fun game called word sneak. Kudos to you, Jimmy Fallon: Word Sneak.
4. Europe is amidst Eurovision craziness at the moment - the tension is mounting... I kick my feet back and watch the outrage, surprises, and competition, looking very amused of course.
5. One of my guitar strings snapped a few days ago (again), causing a small crisis in my life. But all is good, I just play with five strings until new ones arrive via Amazon. My ukulele helps me through these hard times.
6. You really need to check out Rhett and Link's daily 10 minute show, Good Mythical Morning. My brother and I had some laughs last night watching Dance Lab.
7. I bike to school every day and love it. After 8 years of a long commute to school far, far away, I do not take biking for granted.
8. My favorite color is a happy medium between army and pine green.
9. I have a horrible patchwork of tan lines on my arms at the moment.
10. Rain is my muse. It has healing qualities. Something about it just sets the world aright.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Hello, You.

Welcome to Timberwolf.

Things are just getting started, and oh am I excited. I have so many plans and dreams for this space that I will probably scrap in the end because I tend to be spontaneous like that - my plans don't always become a reality, but that can often be a blessing in disguise. I'm so excited that I really don't know what to say. It could very well be that absolutely no one will ever read this post, considering it's the first one. But who cares? I'm writing it anyway. 

I'm writing this one for me. I've waited so long for this. This first post symbolizes a page turning in my book (the book title is Life if you ever want to read it), and I'm now starting a new chapter. It might not be an obvious or even a visible change for those looking into my life, but for me, it's a big deal. I don't even know why it's now, I can just feel it surging through me. I used to hate change when I was little; anything from exotic foods to moving became a crisis in my mind, and I tried to shut it out of my life. But after moving internationally, you develop a callus; there is no room for fear of change (or fear of moving or exotic food for that matter). And now I can say that I've grown and changed in so many ways, even if a lot of them are simply internal. So this is where the page turning comes in to play. As I prepare to repatriate in a few months, I already feel that it's time to start moving on because knowing myself, I take a long time to do that. And I also know that this place, Timberwolf, will be the thing that keeps me going when I am tired of existing in the confusion of trying to remembering what home means. When there is an ocean between me and the people I love. When the faces and scents and voices of those people inevitably begin to distort in my mind.  I dread these things, but I'm preparing to embrace them and take them down with me in the midst of a fight. Timberwolf will be something in my life that will remain separate from all that mess, a welcome thought. 

So here's to us, you and I. 
Here's to creativity, as well as those days when the creative juices dry up. 
Here's to spontaneous adventures and meeting new people. 
Here's to thriving where you're planted. 
Here's to living, opposed to existing.
Here's to nights that should, but don't, involve sleep. 
Here's to the mornings that shouldn't, but do, involve sleep. 
Here's to failed attempts and embarrassing moments. 
Here's to all the things I'm learning to be okay with. 
Here's to Timberwolf.